Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Randomize
