Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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