Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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