i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
