I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
vagina is talking i cant
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
