UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
