sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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