ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
