I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
