hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
