It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
