I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
