she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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