I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Randomize
