So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
