my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize