i don't like sucking hair
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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