You made me cry and you don't even care
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
As shirtless as possible
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
