Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
