we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
