its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize