peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
