I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
