well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
