I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
well you can't waste a boner
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
