You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
