For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
