her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
