If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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