i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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