That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
