i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
