I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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