My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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