hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
