She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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