Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
