Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
