He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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