Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
