im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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