Hey man sorry I got all grabby
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
