FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
