Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
