At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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