Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
