remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
