I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
