is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
