What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
