You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
