He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize