Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
