I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
