I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
