are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Randomize
