dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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