There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
