This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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