Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I think people are normalizing furries
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
