even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
