Cold hands, warm shart.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
