Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize
