you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
