so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
