tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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