I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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