i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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